What's On My Mind Today...

So I just got word that my two really close awesome friends (who are sisters) are moving to NYC sooner than expected-like in matter of days. I'm SO excited for them (especially since one will be working in music and the other is going to nursing school), but there is this ripple of sadness and panic that is going through me right now. A part of it is that they were my buddies, the ones that got me out of the house, the ones that were always up for a movie or try a new restaurant, or go to a show (i.e. I dragged them to see Voxtrot with me at GAMH last night and BTW Ramesh was at his hippity-hoppity best!) so essentially there goes my social life here in SF.

Another part is a mild jealousy. While I love NYC more than I love SF, the two years I spent there were tough with life, school, boy (I promise part 3 is coming, it's just been a really difficult section to write). I guess I'm kinda jealous of the fact that they will actually get to enjoy NYC in all it's glory while I'm stuck here in a city where I'm wearing a turtle neck on the last day of May (yes, it's that cold here today and yeah, I have some other complaints about the city, but I'm just going to complain about that for now). These are the friends that were very supportive of me when I moved to NYC in the first place when even my parents were fighting against my move and they were also the first ones on that plane to come out and take care of me when I needed them. They're gonna be out there pursuing their dreams while I'm on the other coast trying to figure out mine.

Of course one idea is to move back to NYC-I have the potential to get my licensure there without any problems (too many hurdles in CA) and go back to doing work with the SA community, something which I miss doing. But something is keeping me here, more a feeling than anything. Maybe it's because my parents are getting older, moving is such a hassle, the weather (can't stand humidity), the hope that maybe something better is coming (love-wise, work-wise, and dream-wise), I can't quite put my finger on it.

So today my mood is bittersweet with a dash of panic and confusion. Just had to get it out there so I can at least try to get some work done and sift through CL to see if my dream opportunity is out there. And who knows, a glance at the personals might yield something (hey, a girl can be hopeful, right?).

The Not-So-Fun Part of Working in a Nonprofit is:

...you find out that you lost funding for your program :*(.

Sad, considering that in the end it's the kids that suffer...

Looks like it's back to the drawing board.

Life's Simple Pleasures

It sounds like it's been a crazy couple of weeks for everyone (me included). I've been kinda depressed for a multitude of reasons (job, stupid men, failing diet) so I thought I would try to write out my simple pleasures to remind me of the little joys that can be found (or cultivated).

1) Having my morning cuppa coffee ready for me when I get out of the shower.

2) Morning yoga

3) Eating a good meal

4) Laughing

5) Working with my kiddies

6) Spurts of creativity

7) A good movie

8) Celebrity crushes ;-)

9) The smell of lavendar on my pillow

10) Connecting with friends and family

11) Shopping (bad for the bank account)

What are some of your simple pleasures?

Is It All About the Make-Up?

A couple of days ago, I was wandering the shops in Union Square after work killing time before meeting JaB and RbB. Usually when I have to kill time, I wonder into Anthropologie and Urban Outfitters to get ideas before I buy knock-offs at H&M and Forever 21. But my usual wanderings got me thinking about where my life was going. I'm in a job I'm beginning to get bored at, my three bestest friends in SF are leaving me this summer (one's moving to LA and two are moving to NYC), and on top of it, I haven't been able to find a pair of jeans I like. AND don't even get me started on my (nonexistent) love life (at least there's always the hope of Krishan Behl) .

I needed a change. No, not a personality change (wouldn't know where to begin-plus not feeling like going back into therapy) or a wardorbe change (I actually like my quirky fashion sense), I needed something more drastic.

The answer: Make-Up.

Now, being 28, I had never bought any make-up before. No, I'm not naturally gorgeous, just naturally lazy. I'm also sure a lot of it comes from being was traumatized as a teen with weird make-up experiments from friends and a mother who were much lighter than me, resulting in a not so beautiful face where I looked more like a desi clown than a super hot bollywood celebrity. Those two factors resulted in me never attempting to buy make-up.

Until that night.

Wandering around Macy's, I stopped in front of the Benefit Counter, thinking that they weren't as scary as the MAC Counter with their three layers of cake on the attendents' faces. So as I peered over the interesting colors of eye-shadow (yeah, I'm easily amused), the counter girl comes over and asks if I need any help.

bs: I have something funny to tell you, I've never bought make-up before.

benefit "valley girl": What? You've never bought make-up before?

bs: No

bvg: Uh, do you like go out?

bs: A little too much.

bvg: Do men like talk to you?

bs: Not the good ones, but yeah.

bvg: Uh, okay...can I try some things on you? Mascara, eye shadow, lipstick

Readers, let's just say I looked like a desi valley girl with pink eyeshadow and lipstick. At least JaB and RbB had a laugh when I got into their car.



Yeah, I'm sticking with my al natural look.

The Cost of Love?

Setting: Walgreens on Market and 3rd a couple of weeks ago. I'm buying some last minute sunscreen before I head home to pack for my trip to DC. Yours truly is standing in line, reading a tabloid (of course!). The young man standing in front of me turns around.

Young Man: Hey, I'm a film student across the street (at the Academy of Art) and I'm making a documentary. Can I ask you some questions for it?

BS: Umm, I have a fear of cameras. (eyes go back to the article on Britney)

YM: Ah, okay. I don't have my camera on me so don't worry. I just wanted to try out some questions. Is that alright?

BS: Uhh, I suppose...(why do I have to be soo nice?)

YM: Tell me, what's the price of a cup of coffee?

BS: I don't know, I make my own coffee.

YM: You do? Oh, um okay. How about this: how much do you think a gallon of gas is?

BS: I wouldn't know, I don't drive.

YM: You're not helping.

BS: Sorry about that (back to the Britney article)

YM: How about this, what's the cost of love?

BS: (head goes up, surprised at question)

YM: (after a couple of moments) Well...Have you ever been in love?

BS: Err, um, hey, I think you're next (pointing to the cash register).

Life Sucks!

I HATE today!!!

*Walked into the office and one of my coworkers asks me how my new job search is going right when my boss walks in.

*Went to Justin Herman Plaza to see their Conan event and my ex, who almost a year ago to the day after he told me that there was another woman and dumped me, comes up to say hi. He looked good and I looked like crap. Great!

Yeah, I wanna go home and hide!