Can you work in India?

Found this while doing some research:

http://tools.monster.com/quizport/default.asp?file=india_culture_quiz

Yet Another difference b/w SF and NYC

Falling at Penn Station in NYC and breaking your heel: People swarm around you, help you up, and hail a cab back to your apt.

Falling at Forest Hill Station in SF and breaking your heel: People walk right past you and you're left taking the bus since no cabs are in the area.

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On the R heading into Queens the morning after you break up with your boyfriend: People are handing you tissues to wipe the unexpected tears, asking if you're alright

On the N-Judah heading to the Embarcadero the morning after you get dumped: People get up and and move away from you as you're balling away.

Bad Blogger

The server is down at work which means three things:

1) Can't share my random thoughts (don't have time before or after work)

2) Can't read my other fave bloggers

3) I actually have to work?

Ohh, the joys of working at a nonprofit. Love the work, but hate the technology...

Hope your week is going better :-)

A Weekend Food for Thought

Found this on a bulletin board at work. Kinda cheesy, but hmm...

the most destructive habit----worry

the greatest joy----giving

the greatest loss----loss of self-respect

the most satisfying work----helping others

the ugliest personality trait----selfishness

the most endagered species----dedicated leaders

our greatest natural resource----our youth

the greatest "shot in the arm"----our youth

the greatest problem to overcome----fear

the most effective sleeping pill----peace of mind

the most crippling failure disease----excuses

the most powerful force----love

the most dangerous pariah----a gossiper

the world's most incredible computer----the brain

the worst thing to be without----hope

the deadliest weapon----the tongue

the two most power-filled words----i can

the greates assest----faith

the most worthless emotion----self-pity

the most beautiful attire----smile :-)

the most prized possession----integrity

the most contagious spirit----enthusiasm

Conversations with a Punjabi Mother

Last night, after cancelling plans with friend Z because I forgot to Tivo "Beauty and the Geek" and "Top Chef", I came home with a steaming hot pizza and a bottle of wine to enjoy a free night from the social life (hence the reason why I've been away-but got some great material-stay posted).

Finally I had time to check-in with the parents! After my dad went off about Bush's speech (he's ready to move back to India), I spoke with my mom.

mom: Hi beta, how are you?

b.s.: Good ma. Hey, I was wondering, why don't you and dad come into San Francisco on Monday. I have the day off.

mom: Why?

b.s.: Why not? We can go shopping in Union Square, check out some sales. Oh, we can try to do afternoon tea in Noe Valley!

mom: Afternoon tea, huh? Are you gonna introduce us to your boyfriend?

bs: Huh mom, what boyfriend? I'm not dating anyone (readers, seriously I am not).

mom: Then why would I do afternoon tea? (Then switching to her own unique Punjabi, Hindi, Urdu, Multani language mix) You are turning 28 in two months, you need to get married, what is wrong with you? Maybe you should go to that MacWorld thing-you work in downtown , you might meet someone. I'm too old to have a single daughter, putri! Pendiren! (Rant continues for another 5 minutes)

Looks like it's gonna be afternoon tea for one this Monday!

Bare Minimums

I don't know about you, but I tend to have embarassing moments all the time. Some are more embarassing than others, but embarassing none the less. This one especially wasn't my best moment yet it made me think about where I am in the lovely thing known as the love department.

So yesterday while at work I get a call from my friend DR who came in from Chi-town to visit her family for the holiday break. We're old college friends (I was actually her TA back in college) and whenever we get together, all we seem to talk about are boys (of course!).

Like a lot of people, I've had my share of devastating heart breaks and over the years I guess I've become jaded. Instead of having a Bollywood love story where we break out into song in Central Park a la SRK in "Kal Ho Na Ho" (or I guess here break out into song at Golden Gate Park), I've kinda limited my search to the basics. Most of my friends, co-workers, strangers, know the "bare minimums" I need in a partner, including DR.

So I meet DR at the Men's Macy's Store in Union Square during lunch and while her family shopped, she and I went arm and arm through the departments (it is SF after all), catching up on our love lives. In our rounds, I noticed a cute desi guy with a faux-hawk doing some lunchtime shopping. Cute desi guys in SF are an endangered species (plus we have to turn on our "gay-dar" for the really cute ones here). DR noticed me eyeing him but didn't mention anything. By the time we got to the escalator, DR finished her "boy story" right as faux-hawk boy got on to go to the next floor in front of us, just a couple of steps ahead. Of course this is when DR had to ask: "So brown sugar, have you found yourself an Indian boy who has a car, a job, and can get it up yet? You can never find all three, huh?" My jaw dropped and I noticed faux-hawk boy turn around, look at us, smile, and stepped off the escalator. Luckily we didn't see the guy for the rest of our time there (probably scared him or something), but knowing how small SF is, won't be surprised if I bump into him again.

As I was walking back to work, it got me thinking. Crazy encounter aside, I guess my search for a partner boils down to those three things: A Job (doesn't have to be fancy, but he should be passionate about what he does. Plus I'm a career counselor-kinda want him to have a job so I can share it with my kids), a car (it's CA and me being the nice sis I am gave my car to my lil bro in LA where he needs one), and the third part, well...Let's just say it's been hard to find all three...

While I do believe in all those hearts and flowers and stuff, maybe I have become jaded, or maybe just realistic. Hopefully it'll change and I'll have my moment of changing clothes every 2 minutes as I'm dancing at Fisherman's Wharf (lord, I love Bollywood). Oh, where's my Ben and Jerry's Phish Food when I need it... :-)

Stories from Queens

One of the most meaningful experiences I've ever had was my time as a therapist intern in Queens during grad school doing counseling with desi kids at a clinic. I had many memorable cases some of which might come out in this new blog venture but the "Law and Order" episode that aired on NBC Tues night about honor killing reminded me of a case I worked on with a brother and sister in Pakistan. While there was not an honor killing involved, the episode had me wondering about these two wonderful kids I worked with for a short amount of time from Pakistan.

Although I can't get too much into the case because of confidentiality, their story is nevertheless interesting. I met the kids soon after they escaped Pakistan to the United States. The elder sister S called the US Embassy and they arranged for her "escape" along with her brother A after S reported to the embassy that her family was forcing her to marry her cousin. Both kids were born in Pakistan and came to the US when they were young children. Their parents sent the brother and sister back to Pakistan for fear that they were becoming to Western. When I met them at the clinic early on Saturday morning, they were in foster care with a loving Desi-Guyanese family in Jamaica, Queens and she was determined not to see her family again. They would come every Saturday, where I would meet with S for a half hour and then with A, talking in Urdu about everything about their escape to their new life in America to the fear that their biological parents, who were in Woodside, Queens, would potenially kidnap them and take them back to Pakistan. S would bring in her brilliant Urdu poetry filled with love and hope. S wanted to become poet and a doctor and A wanted to become a cricket player. Both wanted to return to Pakistan to realize their dreams.

I guess the episode had me wondering about the kids. When I left NYC, I lost all contact with them along with my supervisor who overtook the case. I hope that they're alright and both S and A are living their lives happily and I can only hope that they are continuing to receive all the support to realize their dreams.

Happy New Year Suckas

Hey cyber world-happy 2007. Hope that this year is filled with fun and excitment and sweetness. My New Year's was kinda scary and eye-opening (more about it in a later post) but all is well. Today it's back to work and while I'm not going in with much vigor (I'm wearing the weirdest outfit to entertain myself), I'm interested in seeing what this year has in store for me and for all of you out there and this crazy world. Much love and look forward to a later post :-).