Stories from Queens
One of the most meaningful experiences I've ever had was my time as a therapist intern in Queens during grad school doing counseling with desi kids at a clinic. I had many memorable cases some of which might come out in this new blog venture but the "Law and Order" episode that aired on NBC Tues night about honor killing reminded me of a case I worked on with a brother and sister in Pakistan. While there was not an honor killing involved, the episode had me wondering about these two wonderful kids I worked with for a short amount of time from Pakistan.
Although I can't get too much into the case because of confidentiality, their story is nevertheless interesting. I met the kids soon after they escaped Pakistan to the United States. The elder sister S called the US Embassy and they arranged for her "escape" along with her brother A after S reported to the embassy that her family was forcing her to marry her cousin. Both kids were born in Pakistan and came to the US when they were young children. Their parents sent the brother and sister back to Pakistan for fear that they were becoming to Western. When I met them at the clinic early on Saturday morning, they were in foster care with a loving Desi-Guyanese family in Jamaica, Queens and she was determined not to see her family again. They would come every Saturday, where I would meet with S for a half hour and then with A, talking in Urdu about everything about their escape to their new life in America to the fear that their biological parents, who were in Woodside, Queens, would potenially kidnap them and take them back to Pakistan. S would bring in her brilliant Urdu poetry filled with love and hope. S wanted to become poet and a doctor and A wanted to become a cricket player. Both wanted to return to Pakistan to realize their dreams.
I guess the episode had me wondering about the kids. When I left NYC, I lost all contact with them along with my supervisor who overtook the case. I hope that they're alright and both S and A are living their lives happily and I can only hope that they are continuing to receive all the support to realize their dreams.
Although I can't get too much into the case because of confidentiality, their story is nevertheless interesting. I met the kids soon after they escaped Pakistan to the United States. The elder sister S called the US Embassy and they arranged for her "escape" along with her brother A after S reported to the embassy that her family was forcing her to marry her cousin. Both kids were born in Pakistan and came to the US when they were young children. Their parents sent the brother and sister back to Pakistan for fear that they were becoming to Western. When I met them at the clinic early on Saturday morning, they were in foster care with a loving Desi-Guyanese family in Jamaica, Queens and she was determined not to see her family again. They would come every Saturday, where I would meet with S for a half hour and then with A, talking in Urdu about everything about their escape to their new life in America to the fear that their biological parents, who were in Woodside, Queens, would potenially kidnap them and take them back to Pakistan. S would bring in her brilliant Urdu poetry filled with love and hope. S wanted to become poet and a doctor and A wanted to become a cricket player. Both wanted to return to Pakistan to realize their dreams.
I guess the episode had me wondering about the kids. When I left NYC, I lost all contact with them along with my supervisor who overtook the case. I hope that they're alright and both S and A are living their lives happily and I can only hope that they are continuing to receive all the support to realize their dreams.
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posted by brown sugar @ 10:01 PM
5 Comments:
At Wed Jan 03, 01:48:00 PM PST ,
tamasha said...
I was really eager to see that episode (even though I'm more of an SVU chick myself). I turned off the television feeling confused. I was sad and angry and happy. I was happy that the writers chose to address the issues of this (my?) community. I felt the "police" handled the situation quite delicately - but I wonder if that's how it would happen in real life. I'm not a police-hater, but I have been stopped on the subway platforms too many times by cops who I suspect might have a slight racist streak...
Thanks for sharing your story. Have you read Ask Me No Questions by Marina Budhos? Different story, but the main characters are teenagers, and it's quite well written. Both Amardeep and Pooja recommended it on Sepia Mutiny and even if I can't be trusted, they certainly can be!
At Wed Jan 03, 04:22:00 PM PST ,
brown sugar said...
I agree with you Tamasha, not sure if the police would have been that understanding in real life. For this case, I had to testify in court and it was interesting their kids own advocates had a lot of preconceived notions of their backgrounds, religion, etc.
I haven't read that book, but thank you for the recommendation. And from one teacher to another, I would totally trust your book recommendations :-).
At Thu Jan 04, 08:44:00 AM PST ,
pied piper said...
What a rich and fascinating story -- thank you for sharing it. I love that the parents stayed in America's corrupting embrace while sending their kids back. And how cool that these Pakistani kids had Desi-Guyanese foster parents -- must have been interesting for you to hear their perspectives as well. Not to mention the immigration/refugee law angle....
Ooooh this is going to be a great blog to read!
At Thu Jan 04, 01:47:00 PM PST ,
brown sugar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
At Thu Jan 04, 01:59:00 PM PST ,
brown sugar said...
Guess I'm still trying to figure out this whole blog thing, I accidently deleted my own comment-lol!
Thank you Pied Piper for your nice comment. I've actually have lurked your blog and enjoyed it, too.
Yeah, it was interesting when I would meet with their foster mother for some collaborative sessions. They provided a great and nurturing home for the kids-both of them got their own room (which is rare for foster kids), and they were the only foster kids under their care. I not only had to provide a lot of psychoeducation for them (why they have to come to counseling, what is reported to their case worker, etc) but try to dispell a lot of their own preconceived notions of the kids being devout Muslim. This along with the fact that they were going through their own adolescent period, too.
Wow, this post got me missing doing therapy. Oh well, maybe one day...
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